On the topic of monster movies… A review of the modern Science Fiction Monster Movie book classic, MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE by Norman Morrison. Available on Amazon Kindle Books.
Today is plenty scary and a lot of people don’t have much hope about tomorrow. Well, think how much worse it was back in good old 1955 when giant monsters were running around eating everyone in sight.
To remind you of how good you have it these days I wrote a humorous (Some might call it funny) book entitled THE MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE available as a download from Amazon Kindle. It runs 22,000 words or so which more than qualifies it to be a science fiction novella.
It’s rated PG, tops, if that. More about THE MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE in a moment.
In the good old early 1960’s when I was but small monster myself there was a show called The Unkown on local television out of Birmingham Alabama. It aired each Saturday afternoon on WAPI-TV Channel 13 and was sponsored by BargainTown USA.
Well, the TV station changed call letters and channel 13 went out with digital. The afore mentioned store is a dinosaur as well. Quite extinct. Only the memories remain of the delicious mutant creatures, terror filled ants, evil alien horrors and all the rest. The scary movies of my youth left a mark on me.
In good old 2013 I set out to do something about the situation. I penned, electronically, my epic called THE MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE for the edification and gratification of my adoring fans.
The HOSEPIPE portion of the title, by the way, is how southern people pronounce the term, garden hose. Actually, we swing both ways, but most often you’ll hear a garden hose referred to as a hose pipe.
My mighty Amazon Kindle book is set in my fictional town of Cowchip Alabama. It is the eigth book in the Cowchip Alabama series, as a matter of fact. Cowchip is a strange little southern village which resides ‘neath a sky filled with southern stars.”
The indigenous residents are somewhat strange on a good day. They mean to be good, but it does not come naturally. Most often they are bad, but not in an ugly way.
When they are beset by the carnivorous garden hoses, the ones who are left are just happy that they weren’t the ones who got eaten.
My nightmare scenario of marauding garden hoses seeking the life essence of the living is not meant to be taken seriously. THE MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE is a humor filled tale. This is true.
It is written in a heavy ironic style full of contradictions. It is so laden with wonderful characterization that you may find yourself reading parts of it aloud to a friend, or even just to yourself.
THE MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE contains all the elements you have come to expect in the best monster movies of all time. You have your monsters, your love interest, multiple heroes, the horror movie life and death struggle, and a common every day garden hose that provides entry into the Cowchip environment of a monster so enormous and colossal that you won’t be able to guess how it could ever be destroyed.
There is the scientist and his assistant, who just happens to be a girl. There is a general, a colonel, and an FBI guy. Then there is the central hero, Virgil Crumley. He has a personal problem. Well, several, actually.
When you tote up the all time list of monster movies you like best, after you consume THE MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE, you will no doubt add it to your list, even though it is not technically a movie. It reads like one, but you will have to keep reminding yourself that it is not one.
Personally I have always loved GIANT monster movies. The first death I ever witnessed was as a young child when a policeman got snatched off the street by an atomic monster of some sort. The giant beast clamped down on his face to leave him dangling thirty feet in the air, his legs kicking. It was a scary sight on that old black and white television. Because I was only in the first grade at the time my mother ran to cut the television off to save my precious eyes. I pouted for years until my unknown friends at channel 13 ran that monster flick again.
Thus, raised on Godzilla, King of the Monsters, giant spiders, giant mosquitoes, giant ants (I especially liked THEM) and best of all giant slobbering Black Scorpions, the mark of the enormous giant beast was etched into my heart forever.
Frankly, I had no choice except to finally produce my very own monster movie for you. It’s called THE MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE and you can only find it on Kinde Books. Get it today and have ALL the fun with MY monster. I can promise you have never seen ANYTHING like MY monster! Not even the giant Aztec vulture creature will do MY monster justice! Get a copy and let me know what you think. If you really love it, review it. If you hate it, then never mind!
P.S. THE MONSTER IN THE HOSEPIPE really and truly is based on a TRUE and much documented series of incidents. More on that is at the bottom of the book. No kidding.